


PG High Story

by KingOfHearts709



Category: Greek Mythology
Genre: Completely unedited, From freshman year of high school, Funny, Gen, Greek gods, I swear to god my friend and i werent high when we wrote this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 03:42:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5148986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingOfHearts709/pseuds/KingOfHearts709
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long and convoluted tale about Greek Gods and Goddesses written by a couple of pubescent teenage freshman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	PG High Story

**Author's Note:**

> Okay.  
> This was written by my friend and I during our freshman year. We were studying Greek mythology in English and decided it would be a good idea to write this.  
> I swear to God, we were not high when we wrote this.  
> I hope. xoxo

PG High Gods and Goddesses

 

It was a cold, dark... Wait, why would I start a Gods and Goddesses story with that line? That’s so lame. Now this is how I will really start this story:

“I like potatoes,” Vianna stated randomly.  
“What the hell, Vianna?” I yelled.  
“Don’t blame me for who I am! I AM AMAZING!”  
“You’re right, so whatcha ya doin’ in English?”  
“Ha, gay. I hate English, obviously. We’re doing some Greek Gods shit in my fucking stupid class. Fuck.”  
“I am also doing some stupid Greek shit!!!”  
“OH MY GAWD WE ARE PRACTICALLY TWINZIES!!!”  
All of sudden Michael heard a loud scream, it was vianna being struck by a thunderbolt. Then out of nowhere Zeus appeared with his lovely wife Hera.   
"What the hell, you just killed my best friend", Yelled Michael.  
"Sorry she was a distraction to your future."   
"What future?"  
"No time to explain, grab my hand."  
All of a sudden Zeus grabbed Michael’s hand and zapped up to Mt. Olympus. When Michael saw Mt.Olympus he said one word  
"Wow". He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw all of the gods and goddesses, their thrones and their emblems just there. And all of the sudden Vianna appeared in the form of Athena.  
“Hi michael i’m athena. Being Athena is cool. I’ve been stalking you forever and ever and ever,” Vianna said. She kept repeating the word “ever” to emphasize her creepiness. Michael couldn’t believe what he was hearin. Well Athena now i’m from Georgia. After a bit of silence, Vianna took Zeus’s hand and threw him on threw him on the ground randomly.  
“I HATE YOU BUT I WANT YOUR GENITIALS GIMMMEEEE!!!” she screamed. Michael had just died on the inside while watching his best friend get freaky with Zeus over and over again.  
“Okay, now we are done doing that,” Vianna said. “Let’s bring my friend back to life so he can watch. Or possibly join.” She put out her hands and brought Michael back to life.  
“Hey, do you want to watch? Or join?” she asked.  
“HELL NO” Michael screamed so loudly whores could hear.  
"I'm going to slap you like a bitch" Michael screamed.  
"Why?" Vianna asked innocently.  
20 minutes later.........after Michael had assaulted vianna he started asking Athena or maybe vianna why she never told him.  
“Because I’m awesome and i still like potatoes,” Athena/vianna said.  
"Boom crack-a-laca".  
Michael said right before he was cloned by 6 whores. Their names were Sparkle. Cinnamon, Magic, Poppy, and Bob the Builder.   
“Hi we are the whores” said the 6 whores.  
There was a story to how the 6 whores were born.  
One night when Zeus was really horny and was craving some vajayjays. He went to this little joint that many men of the town called a strip club. He was really getting into watching the strippers on the long poles run around in nothing but a pair of underwear, so he said to himself “I WANT ME ONE OF THOSE”. He went up to zazzle pop and said   
"Want ALL OF THIS" while pointing to his genetials. zazzle pop nodded and proceeded to want ALL OF IT. She was persuaded by his godliness and got freaky real quick. 5 minutes later.........wow zazzle pop you were horrible. And then he struck her with his lightning bolt. but out of her womb he grabbed the 6 whores and sewed them into his ass. One day athena saw the big lump and asked him “Why the fuck do you have a giant lump in your ass,” and zeus shrugged and said “I have whores in there”. Athena just nodded her head in agreement with this justifiable response. Soon, the lump popped open and the 6 whores of the God world were born. "Thanks for that story Athena/vianna." Said Michael.  
“please, call me bitch” vianna, or bitch, replied.  
"Ok bitch" Michael replied.  
“lets do something fun. like you can do something... fun.... "   
" Am I a god or not bitch?” suddenly Bitch raised her hands and fired a beam of light at Michael face, and body, making him look awesome in God clothes.  
“yes now you are a God” bitch said.   
"Yay I'm a god" Screamed Michael. Bitch simply nodded.  
“And call me athena,” she demanded angrily then shook her head. “sorry i’m bipolar”  
I can just imagine all the people reading this story and thinking, “What the hell are they talking about?”   
Athena what are my god powers, can I ...   
"Hold up Michael you have to fly to a secret land on Pegasus before you can get your powers." Michael just nodded and asked " where is this secret island?"  
“Up yours.” she replied simply, then shrunk michael down so he could travel through his arse. Ok that is not how the story went actually he traveled to the elysian fields with pegasus. The fields were amazing, there was golden everything everyone was smiling, singing and dancing all around. But suddenly there was a boom and this great place turned into…...horror and chaos. All of the gold was gone and replaced with burning wood, no one smiled no one danced and no one sang. Everyone was screaming and crying, and …..dying. Michael couldn’t believe his eyes one second this was the best place and now it was the worst. But he first he had to find Pegasus. If anything happened to him Athena would KILL HIM.  
“Whatcha doin?” athena asked from behind when michael landed on the ground.  
“Whazzup with you gurl?” michael said suspiciously.   
“I AM NOT A GURL I AM A F...ING GODDESS YOU ARSEHOLE” athena screamed.  
Michael started running and never looked back until athena screamed…...then he fell off a mountain screaming “ F… U Beaching dog thumper” and then athena jumped after him and found her true love…. a time lord, then made michael die and go to elysian fields of death. but she gave him wings so he didnt die from the fall.  
“are you okay” athena asked with her time lord companion person next to her.  
“ NO I AM NOT OK, but thanks for the wings besty or home gurl.”  
“what did i say i am not a ‘gurl’ i am a goddess.”  
“ Can you be my BESTY instead.” athena nodded and proceeded to carry the timelord thing person on her back and lead michael through the elysian wood garden thing  
of death. When they got there the men picked michael up and threw him into a river of silver. Athena didn’t know if he was ok but when he got out he had the touch of silver.  
“DO NOT TOUCH ME MICHAEL” athena yelled, slowly backing away.   
Michael didn’t know why and started crying and screaming “What the C...”  
Athena had to stop him, so she pulled out her spear and stabbed michael…….Everything was quiet as Athena realized she had killed michael for realzies for a second time. All of the gods realized what had happened and summoned athena to Mt. Olympus. Ther they scolded her and removed everything she knew about being a goddess and her powers and weapons, but this wasn’t the end. Everything in the world was ending, billions were dying food was rotting, and buildings were falling……..THE WORLD HAD ENDED. ;)


End file.
